claire

The disruption of positive change

I find it fascinating that when set powerful new intentions, we can expect some disruption. It seems even positive change can create waves. And that is just what happened to me.

I have recently worked my way full circle, through all the cliches: that ‘life is too short’, that ‘now’s the time to seize the day’, and to really ‘go for what I want’, in my business, in my life, the whole box and dice. For me that meant a decision to be much more visible, make more noise, and step up.

This was a big deal for me, but I felt clear and the timing was right. So, I got busy, and started making progress with new projects and plans, and just generally feeling good.

So, I was shocked to my core a few days ago, when I found myself, on a quiet afternoon in a little local shop, suddenly pulled into an ‘unwanted embrace’, (and not let go), by the store owner. He is someone we know. He is in our neighbourhood. He’s nice, I thought.

It was not a violent encounter, I escaped unharmed, and I was well supported by my husband and friends, but nonetheless, the aftermath sent some strong shock waves through my entire system.

I was instantly thrust into the midst of my old history — where I didn’t have boundaries, where others could take what they wanted from me. When I was vulnerable and small, undervalued and without a voice. It was an old story and a difficult one to be reminded of, but I listened and felt my way through it and three days later emerged with greater clarity.

In spite of much good work done over the years, I’m aware that some of these themes will probably always represent a challenge for me, but…and it’s a big BUT….. I am different and my story is different now.

So, why and how did this happen?

I suppose it’s not too surprising because when we set a powerful intention this stimulates new energy. It also signals a change to all those parts of us that still carry the old story, the hangers-on that keep belting out the original tunes of our past for old times’ sake.

And, as we know we Humans struggle with change, so when our system gets wind of a change coming it instantly takes defensive measures! Baton down the hatches! Man the barricades!

To recap: Positive Intentions = Change. Change = Disruption

The way I see it is this: as I had set a powerful new intention to be more visible and step up, to have a voice and be valued, it’s not too surprising that lingering parts of my system interpreted this radical departure from my old story as a threat and suddenly I was faced with a powerful reminder of my past.

I don’t think of it as a test, although it did test me. Mostly it required great compassion for the parts of me that still require help and healing.

And it took determination to rise up and hold firm to my new intentions and keep moving forward on my new path.

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