A Personal Perspective by Claire Linley Schillaci
In my mid-50s, I had an eye-opening realisation: I wasn’t happy with what I saw in the mirror. Menopause had landed me with hard-to-shift weight, brain fog, and a noticeable dip in libido. But that wasn’t the worst part. I found myself falling into the trap of “comparisonitis” – feeling like I wasn’t measuring up to others my age who seemed wealthier, more successful, more accomplished, more popular than me.
But it wasn’t just me, this sense of dissatisfaction and constant comparison is an epidemic that stretches across gender and age. From an early age, society encourages us to grow, improve, and fulfil our potential, setting us on a path where self-criticism is the norm. The more we strive for perfection, the further we feel from it, and we miss out on the chance to truly get to know the remarkable person we actually are.
This cycle breeds anxiety, depression, and a deep sense of dissatisfaction. It manifests in our relationships, careers, and even our health. As a therapist, I’ve seen how this lack of self-acceptance leads to a host of emotional and mental challenges. The constant need to improve and measure up takes a toll on our well-being, leaving us feeling like failures, no matter how many external accomplishments we rack up.
But then, something clicked. I realized that the change I needed was a profound internal shift, a shift to “Radical Self Acceptance”. It was time to embrace all the things I didn’t like about myself, to view myself through a Kinder Eye. And the results were transformative for myself and my clients. Radical Self-Acceptance became an antidote to the self-doubt and dysfunction that had been holding us back. It unlocked resilience, focus, and energy that I had been wasting on comparing and criticising myself.
Radical Self-Acceptance isn’t passive or complacent. It’s a powerful, active choice that shifts our mindset from scarcity and fear to confidence and purpose. It restores our mental and emotional health by allowing us to focus on what we are, without constantly chasing what we’re not.
By choosing to see ourselves through a Kinder Eye, we can finally begin to live authentically, free to be as we truly are, so that we can discover the true potential that lies within.
Leave Your Comment